I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
