she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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