Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
