sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
