It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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