i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
