even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
