? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we made out on top of his cat.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Drake has all the answers
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
