How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
