a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
