WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
