if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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