I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
