dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My life is pants optional.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
