I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
