I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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