I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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