it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
