I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Buhtt sex?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
