I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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