he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
