we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
