We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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