i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
