just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
