I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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