Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
