I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
