That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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