Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
