nut hugger
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
