I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
