Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
