I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
