and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
