Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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