Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
