Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
