Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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