Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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