i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
