her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
