im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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