did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize