I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think my moral compass just broke
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