If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
