YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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