if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
