I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
