Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
