At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
