..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
