I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
well I can't set my house on fire every night
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
