he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
