They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Success! We fucked roommates!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
